Today was my last appointment to see if the hcg was out of my system..I've dreaded this day for a while because that meant losing this baby would be real..I could no longer hold onto a thought that i was still pregnant. Sitting in the lab was so upsetting, I was the ONLY ONE who wasnt expecting a baby, I had to leave just so i didnt cry in front of anyone..I mean that was supposed to be me and it was taken from me...after waiting 2 and a half hours for my results they came back 2.03 which is essentially 0..We can start trying again if we want to at any time..I really want a baby but it took us 4 months to get pregnant in the begining and Dustin leaves Jan for yet ANOTHER deployment.
As weird as it sounds I feel relieved finally confirming I am no longer pregnant..no baby, no hormone, no nothing..I can finally start living my life again...I almost feel free
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